Pilot, Wife
and Expat life
what goes up, must come down

Sunday, 21 August 2011

A Camel.


A short story about Visa’s, bankers…and something that rhymes with that!

This week has been hugely frustrating. Like walking through knee-deep wet sand while carrying a sick Camel. Ok, so that wouldn’t be frustrating it would be near impossible, but impossible might have been a better choice of word in the first place so we will stick with the Camel. The Camel’s name is Erik and he is an Estate Agent, or he might be somewhere in some parallel universe because in this one he is just plain useless.
Late last week my man and I found an apartment that we liked, we paid the security deposit and started looking at fridges.

All seemed calm in the desert until the Camel stood on a thorn…

Erik went to the landlord to get the ‘government approved’ tenancy agreement signed and was presented with a totally different piece of paper, still with the same agreements on just not on the original page. To cut a long story short, Erik argued with the Landlord that their version was illegal and as they didn’t back down... he called the Police.

Having told S and I “the Landlord is refusing to sign the tenancy agreement and refusing to give you your deposit back” we were understandably distressed. The deposit is not a small amount of money, and on top of that we really liked the apartment and couldn’t wait to get out of our temporary place. S spent 3 days going between various Government departments at Erik’s insistence until finally the truth came out. The ‘Landlord’ is a multi-national company owned by the Sheik and the agreement they offered is perfectly legal and supported. The thorn was nothing but a splinter.
We, of course, wanted to continue but unbeknown to us, Erik had written the Landlord a letter FROM MY HUSBAND stating that we wanted our deposit returned and if we didn’t get it within 10 days we would raise a dispute with the rents department. We knew NOTHING about this letter; S was not consulted and hadn’t even known about the “problem” when it was sent. As a consequence of this, the Landlord no longer wanted to rent us the apartment.

Luckily with an explanation from the Manager of the Agency and the terms readily agreed to we were able to salvage the situation. The problem now is that because of the 3 days spent time wasting; S didn’t have a chance to request a checkbook from the bank. A process which should only take 6 days, 3 days to convert the account to a checking account and 3 days to deliver the checkbook. Here we reach the wet sand, otherwise known as UAE banks. They are ridiculously slow, unhelpful and dis-organised. We told Erik on Tuesday that we had put the request in and advised him that we could pay the first rent in cash and then submit 3 checks for the final payment once the book had arrived. He went to the landlord and asked if this would be ok. We said we should have the checkbook by Thursday next week (which gave us plenty of time should the banks be slow) and despite all the grief he had already caused us, he told the Landlord we would have the checks by Monday!! This would be fine, if on Wednesday when we checked the status of S’s bank they had been able to find the paperwork or any record of the request at all. Numerous visits to the bank later and they have finally found the paperwork, it is still being processed 6 days into the ordeal and there is no sign of when it might be completed.

So this week has been hours of sitting in waiting rooms, running from one bank to another, government visits, idiotic Camels and all we can do now is wait. The Landlord will not give us another chance, and due to the Camel and endless wet sand we may not make it to water in time. I now have my visa and have put the same request into my bank. Now all we can do is hope that it rains checkbooks by Monday.

On the up side, we both have our residents’ visas and are now officially accepted as Expats in Dubai! Hurrah! It is very exciting and just what we wanted, but it would be nice to share it with more people.
Home feels a very long way away right now and friends and family are living their lives, carrying on as normal with their own stresses and triumphs and Skype just doesn’t seem to bring that world any closer to ours. Home is not here yet but neither is it there, we have no place to call our own and still live out of suitcases. We are resident visitors in a foreign land and we are carrying a Camel….


Friday, 12 August 2011

What a difference a week makes..

So one more week has past and I can hardly believe that we have only been here for two in total. It feels like months already! We have achieved so much in such a short time that I am amazed when I look and see how little time we have had. There is a saying here that is "if you achieve one thing today, thats a good day"and we must have been having a few of those at least!

I started work finally, and I have to say it has been a lot of fun. Its way too much information all at once and by Thursday afternoon my head was ready to explode. S and I seem to be rather well known already, and I am a little cautious that this could be a bad thing as well as a good thing. Obviously it is a little different to have two pilots in one family and not only that but working for the same company and starting within a week of each other. It has created quite a stir! While this might be good for future promotions, getting a few favours or generally just standing out from the thousands of other pilots, it does make you more well known should you make mistakes too. Its a fine line and we are going to have to tread carefully! S is enjoying the somewhat heightened 'awareness'. Had he started alone, no doubt his shining personality would have stood out (yes he does read this..), but being half of "the couple" definitely shows him what it is like to be a female in a new company. The female pilots are always the ones whose names get remembered, we stand out slightly because we are a minority, the uniform is different, there are special considerations due to your sex etc etc and being a married couple has done much the same. Now that we are here we are getting talks on the benefit scheme (but that is different for us because we are married pilots..) and the staff travel benefits (different for us because our families overlap) and the accommodation choices (once again.. you get the picture!). For me it is not much different from in other companies and I have actually gained something this time instead..  I am no longer standing out on my own because now we are standing out together. It's rather nice.

Some of the usual stereotypes are still here, on meeting the chief of Fleet, he barely noticed me standing there and after welcoming the other guys, turned to our tour guide and asked "she's not joining too is she?". In the Uk that would have been a little insulting however with the culture here I didn't mind at all and waited patiently to be introduced, I knew it would happen, and that he wasn't intentionally being rude and so there was no point getting worked up over it.

During the week we attempted to do some more flat hunting, at one point walking 40 minutes in 38 degree heat with a humidity of 86%, I can assure you it is not pleasant, nor is it funny when you finally find the building and once again go into the flat to find the "sea view" is a sea of cars. I am less than impressed with the estate agents here and cannot understand how they get paid 5% of the rent for their "services" when they do not even escort you to the apartments, don't return your calls and specifically show you places which have features you say you don't want. Despite the struggles we have prevailed and we have put a security deposit down on a flat!! It is a lovely place, overlooking the ocean with restaurants and shops lining the walk below it and even a supermarket with a pork section! I can't wait to get our furniture out of storage and make this town feel like home. We have to wait for S's residency visa, which should be ready today, and then try to get a cheque book sorted before the landlord requests the first cheque. It will be very very close and I just hope that we can get everything we need by the time the repainting is finished and it's time to pay! I am now on the hunt for all sorts of home appliances. When we made a list of the items we need we realised the start up costs are going to be fairly high, but it is a small sacrifice now to get good stuff which we take with us in the future instead of buying cheap and having to replace it all.

After the last few days, I feel that working women should be awarded an extra day off per week, how are we supposed to go to work, come home, go flat hunting and still make sure the shirts are washed and ironed and the house is clean?! Today is my first day of the weekend and if I was a man I would be 'chilling out' after my stressful week, or watching TV and relaxing. Instead I have done two loads of washing, tidied up the flat and swept the whole floor with only a dustpan and brush. My back aches, my knees hurt and it is only mid day. I am so grateful that I don't work a standard week usually and now have the utmost respect for anyone who does! I might award myself an hour in the pool, after all, I've had a stressful week too!!!

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Factor 50


A week ago today we had just woken up for our first proper day living in Dubai. We spent the day being total tourists, we visited the marina, went to two malls, watched people skiing, took numerous taxi’s and were very proud of ourselves when we found the “gold ticket” on the metro.
S (aka ‘the captain!’) has spent the week getting up very early and being chauffeur driven to work, where it seems he spends hours on end filling out more paperwork and joking with the HR department that I will have to do it all over again come Monday. Luckily he finishes just after lunch and so we can still spend the afternoon together exploring our new city. On one day I had organized to view a few apartments as, although we are now cockroach free, I cannot wait to get out of this flat and into our own. The estate agent was 35 minutes late, we were not allowed to have a drink (as it is Ramadan) and S was more than a little annoyed by the whole thing. So after she finally turned up to show us the apartments she promised had a Marina view and big living space, S was already towards the end of his tether, when inside the apartment, which looked out onto an industrial size car park, I thought he might burst. To my amazement, he bit his lip and had none of the biting come backs he would usually have had in the UK. I was more than impressed! I was worried that he would get himself in trouble here with some off the cuff comment one day and I am feeling much better now that I have seen his self restraint in action!

This particular estate agent aside, we did see an apartment that we love. Every window has a sea view, it is above a promenade with shops and restaurants, has two pools to choose from and 4 bedrooms! Unfortunately we found out the next day that we cannot rent a place until we have our residency visa’s and that could take up to 3 weeks!!! Fingers crossed the flat is still there when we do get them and we can negotiate a good price!

After a long day at the office (for S) and another day sorting out the flat, unpacking clothes, buying things we have forgotten for me we went out for dinner at More cafe which overlooks the fountains at the Burj Khalifa. We each had ½ a kilo of king prawns which I couldn’t finish. Eating out seems to be so reasonable here, the prawns were only £10 and on a night out at the Irish Village we ate dinner and drank for hours and still spent less than £100 total! You could easily spend that in the UK on dinner alone for two!
It was the first time S had seen the fountains and I was excited to see his reaction, first they ‘dance’ to an Arabic tune then half an hour later to an English one. Just like the first time I watched them, I got quite emotional at the English one. The fountains are stunning and the song was “Time to say goodbye” which seemed rather poignant. I had already been feeling a little homesick that day, add some good food and a tear-jerking song and I didn’t stand a chance. I wonder if we watch them in years to come if they will still have the same affect?



The weekend here falls on Friday and Saturday and so today (Sunday) S is actually back at work. It is a very strange feeling and definitely messes up the week in your head. When we both start flying, we never know what day it is anyway and don’t have a fixed weekend so it won’t feel as odd but it takes some getting used to for now! Yesterday we celebrated the end of our first week by heading off to Atlantis. It is a huge hotel at the very end of the Palm and has all sorts of water-based activities to do. It has a huge aquarium, a place to swim with Dolphins and a huge area called Aquaventure. It’s a water park with rubber ring rides and fake beaches, as well as the real thing. It was so much fun and even though it was 40+ degrees outside you hardly noticed the heat thanks to the water. We spent a good few hours going around in circles on the rapids and shooting down every ride there is. S managed not to burn thanks to factor 50 lotion and there seemed to be a ‘Ramadan free zone’ in the park which meant for the first time all week we were allowed to wander around with water bottles. Such a relief! It was a vast contrast to the day before when we went to the Mall only to find that you were allowed to buy food but its illegal to consume it in the food court, in the mall, outside or in a car… The best we could come up with was a McDonalds consumed hastily in a toilet cubicle! We spent the day then sneakily eating Hershey’s kisses which I had stashed in my handbag…. Lesson learnt now though!

So our first week over and we have even managed to make some friends, we rather boldly introduced ourselves to another couple who looked as lost as us in the Marina Yacht club bar and have been out with them again since. I have the start of a tan and really need to get back to eating healthily or no amount of brown skin will cover the excess! I start work tomorrow and can’t wait to see what the next week brings!

Monday, 1 August 2011

Feeling Hot Hot Hot!!


Well here we are!! We made it to the sandpit and crikey it’s hot!! We had a few stressful weeks before we left, trying to see everyone we wanted to see, and to get all the things done before it was too late. It was really hard trying to make sure that no one felt neglected, and sometimes it seemed that no matter what we did we managed to upset somebody.

Firstly, I have to explain that I have been lying in my own blog! Now that we have told everyone I am happy to say that S and I have tied the knot! The day that I described a few posts ago where our families got together for cream tea and crocket… that was our wedding day! We didn’t want people knowing about it as I felt it might detract from next year (which we are still having and I have ordered my dress!!) but once the day had finished and the rings were on, it didn’t feel right not telling people, it was like we had done something wrong and I disagreed with taking our rings off etc when we had plans with someone who didn’t know. So finally the right time came and we told our friends and family at our leaving do that we are married. It was a little strange really, I don’t know what I was expecting but we had some very different responses. Some people thought we were joking, others were upset that they weren’t there and some didn’t seem to really care at all. Well anyway, here we are, Mr and Mrs on our first adventure.


So how did we get here? The journey to Heathrow was an adventure in itself. S had been told he had to spend the night with his mum and I stayed at my parents. It meant that to get to Heathrow at the same time, I had to leave about an hour earlier, which wasn’t a problem until 15 minutes into this journey… the car’s engine warning light came on.  My dad did an epic “Captain Scott” impression – “Ive got no power, there’s no power!!” and we elected to “Go around, Go around!!” which in layman terms means we drove all the way home again to jump in a different car! In the end we were only 10 minutes late but I think we all could have done without the initial stress. We said goodbye to our families at the airport and although I tried my best not to get upset, I cried all the way through security. I know that I will see them again, I know I will talk to them soon but there is something about waving goodbye to your parents that jerks at your heart strings and makes you wonder about the decision you have made. I will and do miss them terribly. In the same breath, I know they are proud of me and agree that this is the best decision for S and I that we could have made. I just hope that the 7 hour flight becomes well known to them as if I had my way, I would have them to visit every fortnight.

So we arrive in Dubai airport (having flown economy! Hmph) and a gentleman takes us through the ‘landing formalities’. Whilst doing so, he takes a peak at S’s entry permit, which has his occupation on. Instantly, instead of calling him “sir” as he has been, it is now “Captain”. “Oh Captain, how was your flight?” “Can I get that for you Captain?” “How many hours do you have Captain” “Wow you must have bee young when you started Captain” and so on… Needless to say S was loving it! He walked with his head held higher, his back straighter and his “serous voice” on. I on the other hand, walked slightly behind ‘the Captain’ and tried not to make it obvious I was laughing. It is going to take me a little while to get used to being invisible. I keep answering people when they ask us questions, only to realize they are not talking to me but to ‘the Captain’ and even if our answers are the same, it is not the truth until the Captain says it.

Anyway, after about 45 minutes of Captain this and Captain that, the Captain strode off (with his newly elevated head position) to find our bags. I have to admit at this point, that the new status suits him. I like how it obviously makes him feel and how proud he is. He reminds me a bit of a robin who has fluffed his chest feathers out. If anyone deserves to be called Sir or Captain then S does. He has worked extremely hard to get to where he is and I am glad he is finally getting the respect that he deserves. His family are not in aviation and sometimes they don't understand the work that has gone into getting where we are.
So while the Captain was otherwise occupied, our guide turned and asked me what I did, I was not surprised at this point that he hadn’t bothered looking at my entry visa and his reaction to my answer was one I wish I could have captured. He was very quiet for a fairly long period and then simply said “A family of Captains? That’s a new one.”

We made it to our temporary accommodation and I went to let us in, as I opened the door 3 cockroaches fell on me!! NOT what I was expecting, and I managed to keep my cool until we ventured inside to find the place full of the hideous creatures. It brought back so many memories of cockroaches in Hong Kong that I was temporarily paralysed and S had to jump into action and began stomping on them left right and center. After a night of not a lot of sleep, I regained my composure, told myself off for being such a girl and although I couldn’t step on them like S did, I was happily throwing my wedges at them if they dared come out into the open!



We have since bought bug spray and the sightings seem to have gone down but then we haven’t spent a lot of time in the flat. Today is S’s first day at work and the past two days we have spent touring around our new city and enjoying being tourists. More on that next time, Internet access is limited and I have a new apartment to find! All I can say to anyone who reads this is “Welcome to Dubai, it’s hot and it’s Ramadan…!”

Sunday, 17 July 2011

The Three F's

Once again, time has had it's own ideas about how fast to run and I increasingly feel like I am merely along for the ride! What a ride though, some tears and tantrums, some arguments but mostly just a lot of fun.

The wedding we went to was fabulous, I was definitely on the "naughty table" and was no where near as lonely as I thought I was going to be. There was quite a long wait between the service and the wedding breakfast and the free champagne was going down a treat, however with very little food in my stomach it wasn't long before I became a little silly. S was nervously waiting to do his speech and hadn't touched a drop of alcohol, he had to wait until 8:30 pm before it was his time to talk. The speech went really well and I was very proud of him, all of his friends who were on the "naughty table" with me thought it was great too so he didn't even get too much heckling!

Having recovered, it was time to head down the coast to my parents for a while. We had a couple of appointments to look at accommodation in preparation for our own wedding and in the course of chatting to hotels and B&B's made a rather annoying discovery. The weekend that S and I had chosen for our wedding is a DOUBLE bank holiday. Due to the Queen's Jubilee you get the Monday and the Tuesday off. Unfortunately because of this, most of the hotels want you to book at least 2 nights accommodation. Not what we had in mind.
So, having come up against some other problems, like bank holiday traffic, unhelpful hotels and uninterested caterers.. we had a change of heart. Yes, we are still getting married.. not that kind of change! We have decided to have a marquee on the lawn at my parent's house. In talking about it, it was obvious to see that everyone had ben stressed and worried about our original plans, with the new idea the excitement level was once again restored. It puts us back to the beginning but I would rather that than struggling on with a second rate idea.

At the weekend two of my bridesmaids came dress shopping with me, they must have tried on at least 25 dresses each and looked exhausted by the end! They were great fun to have around and it made me realise how much I miss having good friends nearby. I had got used to my own company in Scandinavia and it was nice to have some girly fun. We went to watch "Bridesmaids" at the cinema and it is hilarious. Totally inappropriate but very very funny. Even the guys who came with us enjoyed it and it certainly had the 'female psyche' correct. I am hoping that my bridesmaids will behave themselves and that we won't have any cat fights behind the scenes. I can't see it happening but I'm not going to jinx myself now!!

S and I are still getting everything sorted before our move, we have been injected, x-rayed, prodded and poked and I am starting to feel a bit like a science experiment. I had an awful reaction to a Hepatitis B vaccination and still have one of those to go. I was trying on wedding dresses with my mum and suddenly got really hot, my vision blurred and I was only saved from fainting by the speed with which the lady in the shop unlaced the dress! All I could think about was a scene from "Bridesmaids" and the fact that if I had fainted I would never have lived it down!

In what little time we have left, we are trying to see as many people as possible. We have been dog-sitting for an Auntie, living between two houses and driving North just for one dinner. On the drive North to see S's dad, we couldn't help but laugh at the very obvious divide between the weather!


As I mentioned in the last blog, staying with family and friends has it's up's and down's and while we are desperately trying to please everyone, I can't help but feel we are dropping many of the balls we are juggling. I have been fairly tearful, feeling that my time is slipping through my fingers and that I should have done so many things. The other hard part is the constant company. I never thought I would want to be alone again after Scandinavia but to go from no one to someone all the time has been a pretty big shock to the system. I am used to singing to my own tune, doing things when I want to do them, and not feeling guilty if I just want to do nothing for a while. I did say that there would be a few rough edges to wear down but I didn't think that I would find it so exhausting.

S is looking at me expectantly, and I am reminded that this is his time too. So even if I want to just chill out, have a lie in or even slope off for five minutes on my own, I have to remember all those months when I wished there was someone around to talk to. With only 11 days before we leave I am going to make the most of being surrounded before we are off on our own once again. At least it will be "us" on our own and not just me this time!

Saturday, 2 July 2011

It's life Jim..

Since my rather odd departure from my job, I have felt a little lost for what to do. My life for the last 10 months has been defined by various flights backwards and forwards to Sweden and it feels a little strange not to have a date in the back of my mind that I have to prepare for.

Of course, I do have two large dates to prepare for as the countdown timers on the left show! I cannot believe that this time next month we will already be in the Middle East! Its fabulous and terrifying all at the same time. I have been home from Scandinavia now for a week and a half and we have been staying at my future mother-in-law's house. It has it's trials, the biggest being that it seems to turn S into the teenage version of himself and it is difficult to live with. He is constantly stressed and frustrated by various things in the house or with his family and it is like living with an elephant with a sore head. It is more than a little draining for me, trying to keep up with his feelings and not being able to truly relax. I always find it strange in someone else's house, you feel like you should always be offering to help or jumping up to do something and there is no option to ignore what is going on around you and just veg out for the afternoon!

Whilst here we have been doing a few bits in relation to our big move, we had to sort our licences out, get medicals done and we were both due a new passport so that involved a trip to London. It was actually a really nice day out, we went for afternoon tea at Harvey Nicks, wandered around Harrods, and even managed to catch a show in the evening! S wasn't sure about seeing "Chicago" but when all the ladies came out in their skimpy underwear and stockings, he seemed to enjoy it! He spent the next day practicing the "Mr Cellophane" sway too!



Today is the wedding of the Stag and Hen I mentioned earlier and it looks like it is going to be a fabulous day. S has already gone to the Stag's house and is no doubt starting to get nervous for his speech later on. I have now heard the speech a few dozen times and have almost lost where the funny parts are, a joke repeated that many times is never funny again but I will remind myself to laugh in the appropriate places as a good partner should. It is now quite evident to me that one of the worst people to be at a wedding is the best man's other half. You have already heard the speech, you get all the stress beforehand with jobs to do and general running around and then you spend most of the wedding on your own. S is not here this morning, I won't sit with him in the Church, I won't sit with him at the wedding breakfast and the first time we will be together today is once the meal is finished. I am going to keep this in mind for our wedding, and although the best man is single at the moment, if he does find a plus one, I will be sure to remember what it is like for her. At the moment, I am sort of hoping my wedding will be a bit of a cliche in that department, after all.. the Best Man and the Maid of Honour are both single...!

Once we have recovered from the weekend S and I are off to stay with my parents for a while. I can't wait! I feel like it has been ages and I am really excited to get home to see them. We have lots to do, some wedding planning, some bits for our move, but mainly we just want to spend time with the people we will miss most. I have had to remind S about this when he has got frustrated or stressed, this month is supposed to be about enjoying our time together and with our families and I am going to try and make the most of it with mine.

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