Little slice of sanity

Wow! Some days I absolutely love my job!
I have never been to Mauritius but I am totally in love and definitely bidding to come back. Even just 24 hours here gives me enough to relax, recharge and feel like I have been on a weeks holiday!

I decided as soon as I saw Mauritius on my roster that I would be giving myself a break from the detox/weight loss for one night and truly enjoy some cocktails and down time. I did not think that I would have managed to wrangle some free cocktails but also end up with a bill for 9 pina coladas by the end of it but thankfully not all of them were mine... I don't think...! I cannot remember the last time I had a cocktail and I think it was actually last May when we went to Vegas!!! Unbelievable.

So after way too much food and a few too many drinks this morning I went straight back on to the detox plan and was very surprised to find out that the Aloe gel is a rather wonderful hangover cure. It required a double shot but I was able to get straight up and go out Kayaking. The water is beautifully clear and freakishly cold! Not what I was expecting as I sashayed into the water with my paddle only to end up doing the shocked "holy crap its cold" breathing as my legs lost feeling. Certainly focuses the mind to make sure you don't fall in though!
An hour of kayaking and an hour of walking along the beaches and I think I am fine in giving the gym a miss! Next time I might head out on one of the boats and check out the neighbouring islands. As I said, sometimes I really do love my job and today is definitely one of them.

Talking to the girls on Skype is hard, my littlest has started crying every time she sees me so it always makes you feel a little guilty and I hate not being able to comfort her with a cuddle. The eldest keeps asking if I am bringing home a Kangaroo ever since my trip to Australia and Im starting to think I need to show her a real life size kangaroo so she is aware that I will NEVER be bringing one home!!! She is well into the terrible twos and is pushing both my husband and I to the limit. I find it hard and upsetting especially when I am tired as we seem to spend all day at loggerheads and it is truly exhausting. I genuinely miss my little girl, she is in there somewhere I know but the enormity of her frustration, emotion and stubbornness is taking over at the moment. It must be scary for her too and while I try to remind myself that she is experiencing so many new emotions and trying to deal with her own stuff, it doesn't make it any easier.

Talking to the Captain yesterday and I have decided to put together a "what really happens" list of the hilarious stories I have experienced or heard that have happened on flights or layovers. Honestly you won't believe half of them but I swear they do happen. It should give you a laugh at least.

Time to head home now, landing back in the wee small hours of the morning and hoping that I may be able to sneak a few hours sleep in before the eldest demands my attention! I'll make a start on that list on the way....!

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Hello Copenhagen!

Hello Copenhagen

I am back at work again, flying the big bus and for the first time in a very very long time I get 24 hours in a hotel. With no babies, no husband, no distractions or interruptions.... bliss!

I just want to explain something, I know everyone is waiting to see the jet setting pictures both during the flights and in the destinations. Trust me, they will come but right now I am still "in training" and therefore have to play by the rules. You never know if the Captain sitting beside you is a strict stickler for them or relaxed and easy going so you have to err on the side of caution, especially at this stage. Usually most people don't mind and I promise you'll be getting city shots, Himalayan mountains and ice caps but you'll have to be patient. My "training" (its in inverted commas because really its just checking you can operate safely and within the procedures) will continue until September and then after that I'll just be flying with the normal line Captains and they are much more chilled out.

Anyway, back to the point. So I am here, and I am happy to say it was yet another successful flight and landing. We had some really great views today, the blood red lake Urmia in Iran, dyed by a salt loving bacteria that excretes the same pigment as found in carrots, was darker than I've ever seen. It is hard to tell that it is even water and looks like the red iron filled rocks found in places like Nevada. The weather into Copenhagen was clear and we flew low level over the bridge from Malmo which was amazing. I'm more than a little upset not to have pictures but I know I'll get another chance at some point. I do have one entertaining picture of the flight though....during the approach to land this happened...

Tail camera

I would love to have seen it actually hit, I bet any of the passengers watching the video had a bit of a shock! Of course I'm not condoning the killing of any animal but if a bird can't get out of the way of a ridiculously huge aeroplane then there isn't much I can do about it! Only problem is that the engineers here do not have a high lifter tall enough to reach the tail camera, so this will be the view for the passengers heading back too!

I have been to Copenhagen more than a few times while I was working in Sweden so I decided that this was my chance to actually just enjoy the break rather than race out sightseeing etc. A fantastic friend of mine gave me a pamper pack of face mask, hair mask and magazines so I could truly relax. This friend goes above and beyond all the time for me and my girls and I am hoping to be able to take her on a few trips so that we can have some baby free fun together as a Thank you. I may or may not document those trips on here!
So while the view from my window is very inviting I decided I would treat myself to an indulgent 24 hours. I cannot remember the last time I read a magazine in a bath, or even had a shower longer than 5 mins so I soaked until I wrinkled, watched Apollo 13 on TV while eating room service in bed and was asleep by 7pm!! Seriously, my life is all glamour right now!

View from my window

This morning I decided to start as I mean to go on and headed down to the hotel gym. I have to admit that I have not set foot in a gym for an incredibly long time so I was rather pleased to find it totally deserted! I don't mind saying that I have some baby weight to lose, but I will also say that I view my body so differently having had kids. Yes I have some scars, yes some extra weight and why on earth you have to deal with wider feet is just beyond me but yes I have those too. I am not ashamed of it though, I am not particularly happy with my current appearance but never ever think that I am ashamed. I am not. I grew, nourished and protected my two beautiful girls with this body and I can fix any of the resulting "damage" whenever I want to. Except maybe the feet...
With that in mind I decided rather impulsively that I am going to run a half marathon in December. I do this to myself a lot, I decide something and then have to work out how on earth I am going to get it done. I had announced I was doing this, roped my friend in and then had to actually look up how far a half marathon is. Oh bollucks. Too late, I've said it now so I'm just going to have to get on with it! Serves me right.

When I went back to work after my eldest I started writing her postcards from anywhere I stayed. She has a collection in her room that is going to get a whole lot larger now I'll be staying away every time I go to work. I am going to do the same for the youngest, but her collection will be a lot more exciting right from the start whereas E had to put up with Senegal, India, Senegal, Senegal again, oooh a Venice, India, Senegal... you get the picture. I gave up on scenic postcards and just went for the African animals after a while, so at least now we can get back to some pretty pictures! I'm hoping that they will enjoy reading through them when they are older and in a way know that I was always thinking of them no matter where in the world I ended up. I am very much looking forward to the day they are old enough to come with me but for now the postcards will have to do.

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First flight

Well, I can honestly say that was fun!
Yesterday was the first time I had flown an aeroplane in nearly 14 months, it just happened to be the worlds largest commercial aeroplane and the first time I had ever flown it! Hello A380, I think you and I are going to be friends.

If anyone wants to know what it's like to fly the enormous beast... fly any other aircraft and you're there. No seriously. In terms of the actual way it handles and behaves it feels like it should be half the weight, and once the flight deck door closes you do tend to forget what's behind it. The cockpit is something else though, it is much like any other Airbus, but refined. It's like all the little niggles that didn't quite work in the other planes have been ironed out, someone who cares about ergonomics has definitely been involved in it's design and it just works. The curser ball is very instinctive and even though I have only been in a few simulators and one flight I am already used to the fact that there are no buttons attached to the flight management computer and that the entire aircraft is programmed and run like a laptop! Use the cursor... type with the keyboard. Job done.

Luckily for me the training Captain was fairly relaxed, there isn't really a whole lot of training topics you can talk about on a flight that is only 1 hour and 15 minutes long and a similar length on the way back. He was well aware how long I had been away and also that I have been with the company for 5 years and so he just let me get on with it which was nice. Other people have had a few issues with landing the 380, I'm not really sure why, but I imagine that they are just thinking too hard about it. I flew into Kuwait, it was ridiculously hot, and I landed it like I would any other aircraft and it seemed to work. I am not stupid enough to say that I don't see it being a problem as any good pilot will agree, landings tend to go through phases. You have some absolutely awesome ones and then a run of it not quite working. It's just how it goes. Anyone who tells you they have never messed up a landing is either lying or has been playing flight simulator at home and isn't a real pilot!

The only time I really saw a difference from other aeroplanes was during the walk around. I will happily admit that I couldn't keep the ridiculous grin off my face. IT IS HUGE and walking around outside 100% confirms it. It has an 80m wingspan, 22 enormous wheels and 4 ridiculously large engines. I actually text a friend saying I could happily move into and live in the space provided inside one engine, and I'm not joking.

Some of the 22 wheels

As much as the aircraft is big, new and fancy it wasn't really the most interesting thing about the day. What I found most enjoyable was that I was able to be somebody I had long forgotten about. I wasn't covered in sick up, being clambered on, being asked 10,000 times what I was doing and I didn't have to go to the bathroom to get 5 minutes peace. I was able to be someone other than "Mummy" and I am not going to lie, it was nice. I love my daughters more than anything in the world don't get me wrong but I haven't had a break from them both in over 7 months and the eldest one in nearly a year. I have got up through the night with them both every night for nearly 7 months. I hadn't left them with anyone else for longer than a few hours and even when I did I felt horribly guilty. Yesterday was a bit stressful leaving the house, my husband was sick and so went back to bed, E was quite upset that I was going to work and C hasn't been sleeping well and is teething so all in all I ended up with a rushed 30 mins to get the work done I needed to do and get out of the door.

Once I was in the car on the way to work I realised how quiet it was, how I didn't really have a choice to go or not and so there wasn't anything I could feel guilty about. I'm sure you'll laugh when I say that I suddenly felt like I had different skin on. The banter on the flight deck started immediately and continued the entire duty and it's something I didn't even realise I missed. I am however now acutely aware of how much of "me" I have lost along the way. It's good to be reminded that there is more to me than "Mummy" and that I don't have to choose to be one or the other, I'm hoping the two can co-exsist.
We will just have to wait and see, in the meantime, I have some small people needing my attention..



"Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself"

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Slush

This morning I opened my curtains to find a full on blizzard happening outside. It looked like it was 5 o'clock in the afternoon already and I had to check that it was actually 8am and I hadn't slept through the whole day! Not the type of weather you want when you desperately need eggs.
I might need to explain that comment! I am on a low carb, high protein, high fat diet (lost 14lbs already and I love it!) and I don't own a car here. I'm following a book called "Neris and India's Idiot proof diet" and wow it works! I wouldn't say I was ever fat, but quite often on the chubby side and definitely a yo-yo dieter.

This book spoke to me, and I hope that this one will stick as I am already over the moon with the results. I love meat so that is no problem for me and I have recently managed to get a copy of my mum's broccoli casserole recipe which is one of my favourite dishes so I have been dying to get it right, hence my need for eggs...

In a "break" in the blizzard I decided I would nip to the shop. It's about 15-20 minutes walk and the snow storm looked like it was letting up. TWO HOURS later and I am still trudging back through 10cm of dirty, slippery, frustrating slush. All I can think as the rain and snow pelt me from above and the slush seeps into my shoes and up my trousers is "this better be burning me some calories!!" All I want in weather like this is comfort food, hot, fatty, very bad for you comfort food. Here lies another problem with being a pilot, if you don't eat healthily at home, you will never fight the bulge.

It is one of the only subjects that "non-aviation" friends actually agree with me on and doesn't take much explaining. The common misconceptions of being a pilot; you get paid loads (90% of the time, utter rubbish), it's glamourous (don't get me started..), you go to fabulous destinations all the time (do I need to comment on that one?!) and all cabin crew want to marry pilots (sigh). The only thing we do agree on is that airplane food is disgusting!
At my previous airline, lunch consisted of a sandwich, packet of crisps and a chocolate bar. The sandwich contained about half of your daily fat intake and so by adding the crisps and chocolate on top you to are probably eating about two days worth. On average you are supposed to consume 15g fat per meal. The evening "hot meals" they serve on board contain over 24g. So here is one more thing they don't warn you about when you become a pilot, you will gain weight! Every pilot I know has put on weight since starting the job, usually the first 2 years are the worst as you are excited about your job and its all so new and interesting that you neglect to think about what you are shovelling into your mouth each day. Some people gain control over it faster than others but for the unlucky few, they never get their eating habits sorted. It is not just eating though, the cabin crew are usually nice enough to bring you in a few cups of tea throughout the day. S used to have 2 sugars in his. So on an average flight, he was drinking 14 cups of tea.. each with two sugars in.. you do the math! He is now a sugar free tea drinker and feels much better for it!

Pilots are supposed to keep fit and healthy and be able to pass a yearly medical, not only for our flying abilities but also incase that fateful day comes where we have to escape using a flight deck window. Believe me, they are not big! Since discrimination cases started being thrown at companies it has become harder and harder to tell someone they need to shape up. (Apart from Richard Branson who gave all his cabin crew gym memberships!!) I know a captain who would be the perfect piece of equipment should you need to plug a hole in the aircraft and I can't help but worry for his safety. It makes this LCHP diet worth sticking to.

So although I would dearly like to cosy up with some comfort food and dry out, I will take my soaking wet jeans to the dryer and make myself a salad. I might consider getting in the dryer myself to thaw out too, is it time to move to warmer climates yet?!

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Oceans apart

It has now been 7 months since I took the job in Scandinavia and it is starting to take it's toll. When I am working, it's not too bad. The captains are nice, the crew always seem to be happy and mostly we get one night in a hotel somewhere with good food. It takes my mind off home and what I am missing but just makes the days off so much harder. My dad came to visit last week and joined me in the cockpit on one of my flights. It was an absolute dream to fly with him and I am over the moon that we managed to organise it. He mostly flew Airbus during his career and I fly Boeings now so a good bit of banter always makes a flight go faster. He has gone home now though and my sparse flat feels even more empty.

7 months is a long time to be gone and even with an end in sight (another 4 months) I seem to have very little energy left to put on a brave face. I know it's not true, but I feel like I am the only one making sacrifices and everyone else is just carrying on like nothing has changed. S goes out drinking, socialising, complains about work and I feel like we never have quality time anymore. Well, how can you? What kind of quality can you have when you get snatched Skype conversations and the odd email. I admit, I bombard him with emails and somehow expect him to reply to each one. I forget that he still has a life while I am the one serving the solitary confinement order.

I'm trying to plan our wedding and I want to enjoy the experience but it is hard when most of it is done over the internet and not together with S. We live separate lives, meeting for a few days here and there and trying to maintain some kind of normal relationship. It can't be easy for him as I am constantly upset and snap at the simplest thing. I don't want to, or mean to but my frustration at this situation sometimes gets the better of me and comes out in the wrong way. Moving to the Middle East is going to be like moving in together all over again. Two independent and stubborn people trying to find a way to work together. As someone once said, a relationship is like two square rocks in a river, they bump against each other and rub each other down until they are two round rocks rolling side by side.

The next few months are going to be bumpy and I wonder if deciding to share the ride with the world was a sensible thing to do.. I can't wait to at least be in the same country as S. Anything has got to be better than this.

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Stereotypes

Everybody makes snap judgments. I've been told that it only takes 2 seconds to make a first impression and a lifetime to change it. This is certainly true when it comes to the Pilot profession. I have got used to the shocked looks of "you? You are a Pilot?!" but I still cannot fathom why it is such a shock in the first place. When I started, I put it down to the fact that I was 19 years old and yes, it is unusual that someone of that age is qualified to look after 189 people and a 55 tonne aircraft. After a while, I decided it was more because I was female because I am now several years older and I still get the dumbfounded expression!

Stereotypes have always been a part of our society and this is not about to change. Last night I read an interesting post on this forum: marriagewithaltitude. It is discussing another typical stereotype that pilots cheat on their wives.

Obviously over the last few weeks I have been discussing my impending marriage with a few of my colleagues and I have to say I am astounded at the responses I get. It has not only become accepted that long-haul pilots will be on their second or third marriage but this fact is actively used as a deterrent for those of us wanting to tie the knot! Now, I have two sides to this story and I want to state now that I do not believe that a certain group of professionals are more likely to cheat than another as I think it lies solely in the individual person's personality. However, of all the Captain's I have flown with since starting this job there are only a handful who are still married to their first wife, and even less who haven't strayed during that marriage. I wonder, is this any different from the path that society (certainly in the UK) is leading down anyway?

My father was a pilot, and he has been married to my mother for over 35 years. When I tell other pilot's this, the first question they ask is "and he flew long-haul?!" I have always dreamed of a marriage as stable and mutually supportive as theirs and I expect to work hard for this to happen. With S about to move onto long(er) haul in the Middle East I can't help but wonder what changes some men from loving husbands to compulsive cheats and will we ever be able to change this long standing stereotype?

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Early on

I guess the place to start is with some background information. I'll try to keep it short!
I started out life as an expat, surrounded by a country that called out to all it's inhabitants to live life to the full and try everything once. Children stayed innocent and had outstanding manners, well, most of them! I moved to the UK in 1996 and in 2003, at the age of 17, decided I wanted to be a pilot. It seems that this is a less than normal career choice for a school girl and my so-called career advisor had the audacity to laugh in my face when I told him. As it turns out, this would become a rather regular occurrence over the next few months and it is just as well I have some kind of patience or I would be writing a very different blog!
My school, having realised I had no intention of going to university, decided I was not worth the effort as I would no longer be contributing to their league tables. In a boarding school that has roll-calls throughout the day, I had disappeared from their view.

Despite this I left school with the grades I needed to fulfil my dream. Full of hope, I applied to a well known academy in England and bought my first suit. I failed the initial entry tests and in the "debrief" afterwards was told that I would "under no circumstances ever be able to be a pilot as I simply did not have the mental capacity or coordination". That's a pretty hard pill to swallow and luckily for me I am as stubborn as a mule and would not swallow it! I dipped a toe into the self pity pond and decided it wasn't for me. After months of studying and preparation I flew to Spain to try again with a different academy and this time, my hard work paid off.
It was here, during the 18 month course that I met the man who will soon become my husband.

I have now been a pilot for nearly 6 years and have been with S for 5. I have been made redundant from one company, flown 2 types of commercial aircraft and taken thousands of passengers safely on their holidays. I now work in a Scandinavian country and feel like my brain cells are slowing down in the freezing temperatures.

S still lives and works in England but our lives are about to change. We are moving to the Middle East in August and getting married the following June. Simply put, that is what this blog is about: A bit of flying, marriage and sand storms all rolled into one!

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