Silence

I opened my eyes this morning to the blissful sound of... silence! I live above a family who have two small children, and so far I have been woken up every morning to either the sound of screaming or Scandinavian postman pat! They have gone away for the weekend and I am actually upset that I will be working or I could have enjoyed three more mornings just like this one. There seemed to be a dulling of the outside world too and it didn't take me long to work out why. Just as I had started thinking it had finished snowing for this year, we had about 4 inches of snow last night.

Snow always seems to absorb a lot of noise and changes the light outside dramatically. It has the same effect on my mood. Don't get me wrong, I like snow, I am definitely more of a sun and sand person but I can still see the beauty of snow. However, in reality, the day to day tasks are made ten times harder when you have to crunch through inches of wet stuff. I have to add a few minutes on just for my walk to the bus stop, mostly so that I don't fall flat on my face going down the driveway but also because I have to stop every so often to clear the snow build up that my bag is creating. Your shoes get wet, the bottom of your trousers get wet and slowly but surely it seeps up your leg, let alone into your socks. At 5am on the way to work, it makes for an unpleasant start.

Snow issues aside, I have more than enough to worry about right now without the weather compounding things. I have a few weeks to go before my 6 month sim check, 8 hours in a simulator spaced over 2 days having to deal with any failure or emergency that the instructors throw at you. Not only that but they want to see your "command potential" so you are put in a situation that you would never find yourself in on a normal work day. Shortly after that I am off to the ME for an airline selection, a job that I desperately want but is notoriously difficult to get. On top of that, I have my contract here to think about. Originally it was a winter contract only, and therefore ending in May, however they have asked us to stay on permanently. Obviously I don't want to stay, but if I get the job I want, I will have to. They have strict rules about the number of hours you need to join them and by May I will short by about 60.
So here is my dilemma, If I get the ME job, I have to stay in Scandinavia for another 3 months from May (the contract notice period), if I don't get the job, I get to leave here and spend 3 months over the summer sorting out our move and our wedding together with S in the UK, not to mention catching up with the friends and family I have sorely neglected these past 7 months.

I have always been the type of person that does the "right" thing. If a decision is between my head and my heart, my head wins every time. My heart is yelling at me to go home, but my head is gently reminding me that 3 months out here is not that long in the wholeness of time. I guess it will depend on the interview outcome and I am terrified that my heart might win this one by default. Back to the books it is then..