Time

Why is it that when you wish time would stand still, it seems to speed up just to spite you?
I know the age old saying of "time flies when you're having fun" but no one is ever quoted saying "time flies when you need more of it"! I have been organising my calendar today, a critical part of a pilot's life (and key to a smooth relationship with one), and I have never seen it looking so busy. We have a colour coded calendar that S and I share through Mobile Me, a genius invention from Apple that I couldn't live without, and at the moment, it looks like a paint shop threw up on it.
My work calendar is green and his is grey, and more often than not, when there is a gap in one, the other fills it. As you know if you have read my previous posts, I have a hard couple of weeks coming up and it seems the mess on my calendar is reflecting not only the feeling in my brain but the state of my apartment too. The more I try to tidy up, the messier it gets. I am a lover of piles.. If I don't have somewhere to put things right away then they get "sorted" into piles. Right now my flat looks like a replica of stonehenge, I am in a space in the middle while the columns of paperwork and washing etc threaten to fall inwards and smother me.

The great thing about our calendar is that it lets us share our plans and appointments without even needing to be in the same room, let alone country. I know when I can expect him to be available and he can do the same. Not only that, but I can put reminders on that will then magically appear at his end. Today we found that we have managed to orchestrate a week in May where the colour green or grey are nowhere in sight! This is a rare occurrence normally but unheard of when it is for a special family event. S's uncle is having a big birthday celebration and we are both able to attend it! To many, this might sound a bit sad but to those of you who have any comprehension of a pilot's life, you will know how much of a big deal this is. Plus for me it is extra special as I seem to miss out on his family gatherings with remarkable frequency. I don't feel that I know them all that well, I am pretty sure that one or two don't really like me and it is hard knowing that you are standing on the outside of a family that you are about to marry into. They are all so tight knit and I love that, but it makes it really difficult to feel included when you are always missing the get togethers. They all live within a small radius and although it provides a great "home base" it raises a question for me, will they see me as the woman who stole one of their own? I've always been the one openly suggesting moving abroad and living the expat life,  what if they think the only reason my man accepted the job in the ME is to please me? I can see the ranks closing and it being even harder to break in than it already is.

With each conversation or thought about future events, I am reminded once again how fast time moves when you don't want it to and the same can be said about life. I heard a saying that I liked a lot, "Life is like a toilet roll, the further towards the end you get, the faster it spins". It seems that a week has the same ability, office workers always say that Monday drags along and the weekend flies by. Well, in a few days time I have 4 days in the UK with S and although I am hoping it goes like a Monday, I'm guessing it will feel like only hours before I am back in Stonehenge and counting the days until I am home again. I can hope though!