Lack of..

That has got to be the worst night's sleep I have ever had. 
I flew into Copenhagen, Denmark, and then took a taxi across the bridge and through the border to Sweden, I spent the night in a lovely hotel in the centre of Malmö. The taxi ride is bizarre, you start off going through a tunnel and pop out on this huge long suspension bridge that seems to curve with the earth's surface and 20 minutes later, you still haven't left the bridge!

Malmö itself is very pretty, I only saw the main square and a few shopping streets but the architecture is amazing and in the centre of the square there was a man playing the pan pipes like his soul was trapped inside them. The music echoed hauntingly through the side streets and it turned out he wasn't the only talented busker in town! There was a band of three guys playing guitars and a sax, then a one man band complete with cymbal and a home made drum! Normally I get annoyed with people playing music in the streets, they do bad copies of well known songs, play far too loud and generally ruin the ambience, but each of these played original music at a respectable level and people couldn't help but stop and listen. The one man band only ruined it when he started up the pink panther theme tune..!

The hotel and staff were pleasant enough and there wasn't an ant in sight which was a definite improvement on the last hotel room I stayed in! I've just realised I could probably write a very interesting blog or book reviewing hotels, after all I do stay in enough of them! I digress.
So after a quick bite to eat it was time for an early night, and that's when I noticed the air-conditioning making a funny noise. The lights go back on and after a 10 minute hunt around, I realise it is not controlled from inside the room but a system that is obviously linked throughout the hotel and probably has a few thermostats dotted here and there. Back to bed as I try to ignore the "whoosh whoosh" noise that comes in inconsistent waves. Darkness tends to heighten your hearing, I imagine it is somewhat like what blind people experience, that when you lose one sense the others try to compensate. So with my superman sense trying to ignore the whooshing, it focuses on the tap dripping in the bathroom instead. Not only that but I now hear that there is a clock in the room too. I have to explain that I am not normally a fussy sleeper, I have lived next to a railway, under a flight path and out in the countryside and each has it's challenges, having said that, I was already exhausted on arriving at the hotel and acutely aware that my alarm would be going off at 5am and having already got up once for the air-con I was starting to get frustrated.

Lights on, and i'm twisting, banging, tapping and pleading with the tap to stop it's incessant noise. Obviously the tap can't hear the desperation in my voice and carries on regardless. I turn my attention to the clock instead and find it on the opposite night stand, it is battery powered and the back is screwed shut. I'm now wishing instead of superman's hearing that I had inspector gadget's limbs as without them I have no way to get the back off. In a moment of inspiration I wrap it in two towels and shove the bundle under the dripping tap. My triumphant "ha!" could probably be heard in the lobby.
I've jumped into bed and found the perfect position, when the guilt sets in. By the time morning comes, the water will have soaked through the towels and probably damage the clock and while my irrational and over-tired brain thinks it serves the clock right for being so loud, there is a squeak from the rational side that tells me to get up and rescue it.

So, the towels are still under the tap, the clock has been banished to the corridor and the "Do not Disturb" sign is hanging prominently on the door handle. It seems this sign only applies to cleaners though as a party of 5 or 6 guys who are yelling and running down the corridor are clearly oblivious to it. I can hear them pick up the clock and I already know what's coming next by the childish giggles and whispering coming from outside. Sure enough, less than 5 minutes later and an alarm is ringing in the hall. Someone else dealt with it and I'm cringing into my sheets hoping that nothing on the clock identifies the room that it belongs to.
I now have 4 hours before I have to get up and it is impossible to get comfortable, let alone stop looking at the clock on the TV to see how much time has gone by since I last looked. It's a vicious circle and although I finally did fall asleep, it seemed like seconds before it was time to wake up again.

At least breakfast was quiet...